I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
