I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
