Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
