Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
well you can't waste a boner
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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