JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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