i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just threw up on my dentist
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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