My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
