1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
