you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
