Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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