Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize