I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
