you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize
