last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
