whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
