look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
