My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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