the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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