You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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