Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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