Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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