What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
