His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
