Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
