it wasn't lemon gatorade
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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