I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
