What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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