so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
