we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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