omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
