Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
