She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Randomize
