I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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