Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
