Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
