We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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