I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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