The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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