Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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