I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
