Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
