I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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