Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
