he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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