There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
