your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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