that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
