it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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