I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
