theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
