I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
